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The Joke of the Day Archive - Page 3


This is page 3 of our 'The Joke of the Day' archive and it covers from Sunday, September 22nd, 2019 to Saturday, September 28th, 2019.

The Joke of the day for Saturday, September 28th, 2019

Walking into a lawyers office, a man asked what his rates were. "Fifty dollars for three questions," the lawyer stated.
"Isn't that awfully expensive?" the man asked?"
"Yes," replied the lawyer. "What's your third question?"

The Joke of the day for Friday, September 27th, 2019

Yo momma's so ugly, even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!

The Joke of the day for Thursday, September 26th, 2019

Wife: To think that I had to marry you to find out just how stupid you are.
Husband: You should have realised that when I asked you to marry me.

The Joke of the day for Wednesday, September 25th, 2019

Patient: Doctor, doctor, I can't stop eating cheese and biscuits.
Doctor: You must be crackers.

The Joke of the day for Tuesday, September 24th, 2019

Office Boy: The boss is starting to take notice of me.
Secretary: How's that?
Office Boy: This morning he asked me if I worked here.

The Joke of the day for Monday, September 23rd, 2019

Did you hear about the idiot who thought that the Cote d'Azur was a blue jacket?

The Joke of the day for Sunday, September 22nd, 2019

HOW TO KNOW YOUR GROWING OLD:
1. Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.
2. Your little black book contains only names ending in M.D.
3. You get winded playing chess.
4. You look forward to a dull evening.
5. You turn out the light for economic rather then romantic reasons.
6. You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
7. Your knees buckle and your belt won't.
8. Dialing long distance wears you out.
9. Your back goes out more than you do.
10. You sink youe teeth into a steak and they stay there.
11. A fortune teller offers to read your face.
12. You got too much room in the house and not enough in the medicine cabinet.
13. Your children look middle aged.
14. You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.

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