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The Joke of the Day Archive - Page 5

This is page 5 of our 'The Joke of the Day' archive and it covers from Tuesday, December 24th, 2019 to Monday, December 30th, 2019.

The Joke of the day for Monday, December 30th, 2019

A man goes into a bar and sees Vincent Van Gogh standing chatting to the barman. The man says, ''I love your paintings, can I buy you a drink?''
Vincent replies, ''No thanks I've got one ear.''

The Joke of the day for Sunday, December 29th, 2019

A Truck load of prunes has been stolen.
Police are looking for a man on the run.

The Joke of the day for Saturday, December 28th, 2019

Doctor, doctor. Every time I stand up quickly, I see Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck and Goofy.
Ok, how long have you been having these Disney spells?

The Joke of the day for Friday, December 27th, 2019

How many waiters does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Not even a burned-out bulb can catch a waiter's attention.

The Joke of the day for Thursday, December 26th, 2019

A husband went out for a few drinks with his friends one Friday evening but ended up getting so drunk at their flat that by the time he came round, it was Sunday lunchtime. Realising that his wife would never forgive give him for the missing day and a half, he knew he had to come up with a plausible explanation. He was really struggling to think of a good excuse until he had a sudden brainwave. Calling home, he yelled down the phone: ''Don't pay the ransom, darling! I've managed to escape!''

The Joke of the day for Wednesday, December 25th, 2019

Just before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and Santa Claus were all riding in the elevator of a very posh hotel. Just before the doors opened they all noticed a $100 bill lying on the floor. Which one picked it up?
Santa of course, because the other two don't exist!

The Joke of the day for Tuesday, December 24th, 2019

He is so stupid he thinks that Christmas Eve is a tug of war contest.

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