Home / The Joke of the Day / The Joke of the Day Archive - Page 5

The Joke of the Day Archive - Page 5


This is page 5 of our 'The Joke of the Day' archive and it covers from Friday, January 18th, 2019 to Thursday, January 24th, 2019.

The Joke of the day for Thursday, January 24th, 2019

What do you get if you cross a vampire with a rose?
A flower that tries to bite your throat when you sniff it.

The Joke of the day for Wednesday, January 23rd, 2019

Car Driver (telephoning after he has had an accident) - Send help at once, I've turned turtle.
Mechanic: This is a garage not a pet shop.

The Joke of the day for Tuesday, January 22nd, 2019

Did you hear about the kidnapping?
He woke up.

The Joke of the day for Monday, January 21st, 2019

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Thistle.
Thistle who?
Thistle be the last time that I knock.

The Joke of the day for Sunday, January 20th, 2019

A little girl asked her father if all fairy tales begin with "Once upon a time?"
He replied, "No, some begin with 'If I am elected.'"

The Joke of the day for Saturday, January 19th, 2019

Judge: ''Do you wish to challenge any member of the jury?'' Prisoner: ''Well, I think I can beat that little fellow on this end...''

The Joke of the day for Friday, January 18th, 2019

A man and his wife were watching golf on tv and the sound on the commentary was rather low. The woman went to turn it up. 'Ssh,' said the husband, 'ssh. Not while he's putting.'

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