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The Joke of the Day Archive - Page 5

This is page 5 of our 'The Joke of the Day' archive and it covers from Monday, June 1st, 2020 to Sunday, June 7th, 2020.

The Joke of the day for Sunday, June 7th, 2020

Customer: How long have you been working in this restaurant?
Waiter: Two weeks, sir.
Customer: Only two weeks. Well it can't have been you that took my order.

The Joke of the day for Saturday, June 6th, 2020

A man went into a restaurant and ordered a bowl of vegetable soup. After a couple of spoonfuls, he saw a circle of liquid right under the bowl on the tablecloth. He called the waitress over and said, "It's all wet down here. The bowl must be cracked."
The waitress said, "You ordered vegetable soup, didn't you?
"Well maybe it has a leek in it!"

The Joke of the day for Friday, June 5th, 2020

Waiter, waiter, what's that fly doing in my ice-cream?
Learning to ski, sir.

The Joke of the day for Thursday, June 4th, 2020

What is the difference between ignorance and apathy?
"I don't know, and I don't care."

The Joke of the day for Wednesday, June 3rd, 2020

A disconsolate father sat watching as his daughter tried on one wedding dress after another, each one more expensive than the last. ''I don't mind giving her away.'' he muttered to his wife. ''But do I have to gift wrap her as well?''

The Joke of the day for Tuesday, June 2nd, 2020

Boss to his new secretary: "I need you to file these papers for me."
Secretary: Wouldn't it be easier to just trim with scissors?"

The Joke of the day for Monday, June 1st, 2020

What do you call a farmer who used to like farm machinery?
An ex-tractor fan.

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