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The Joke of the Day Archive - Page 5

This is page 5 of our 'The Joke of the Day' archive and it covers from Tuesday, May 14th, 2019 to Monday, May 20th, 2019.

The Joke of the day for Monday, May 20th, 2019

How does an elephant get down from a tree?
It doesn't, You get down from a duck.

The Joke of the day for Sunday, May 19th, 2019

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they lay down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend awake. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars." Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent."

The Joke of the day for Saturday, May 18th, 2019

What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin pi.

The Joke of the day for Friday, May 17th, 2019

Did you hear about the monster that ate a settee and two armchairs?
He had a suite tooth.

The Joke of the day for Thursday, May 16th, 2019

What is very big, grey in color and wears a mask?
The Elephantom of the Opera.

The Joke of the day for Wednesday, May 15th, 2019

A man and his wife entered the dentist's office.
"I want a toothpulled, "the man said. "We are in a big hurry, so let us not fool around with gas or Novocain or any of that stuff."
"You are a very brave man," remarked the dentist. "Which tooth is it?"
"Show him your bad tooth, honey," said the man to his wife.

The Joke of the day for Tuesday, May 14th, 2019

Did you hear the one about the cannibal who got married, and at the wedding reception, toasted his mother-in-law?

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