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The Joke of the Day Archive - Page 7


This is page 7 of our 'The Joke of the Day' archive and it covers from Tuesday, April 30th, 2019 to Monday, May 6th, 2019.

The Joke of the day for Monday, May 6th, 2019

Two drunks were riding a roller coaster, when one turned to the other and said, "We may be making good time, but I've got a feeling we're on the wrong bus."

The Joke of the day for Sunday, May 5th, 2019

Knock, knock.
Who's There?
Cash
Cash Who?
No thanks, I prefer peanuts.

The Joke of the day for Saturday, May 4th, 2019

A man goes into a seasfood restaurant and sees a sign that reads: "Big Red Lobster tails - £1." Amazed at the value of the offer, he calls a waitress over.
"Excuse me," he said. "Is that sign correct?"
"Yes sir," she replied. "It's today's special offer."
"Fantastic," said the man. "But are you sure they're not small?"
"Oh no sir, I can assure you that they are very big."
"Are they out of date then?" "No, no sir, they are fresh in this morning."
"Well in that case, here's my £1. Fill me up"
The waitress took the £1 coin, sat down beside him and said "Once upon a time, there was a big red lobster..."

The Joke of the day for Friday, May 3rd, 2019

A police man pulls over an old man driving on the freeway and said "Mister, did you know your wife fell out of the car half a mile back?" The old man said, "Thank god, for a moment there, I thought I was going deaf!"

The Joke of the day for Thursday, May 2nd, 2019

I was staying with my uncle. One day he come in and said, 'One of the chickens has just died. We'll have roast chicken for dinner.'
I said, 'Lovely.'
The next day he come in and said, 'One of the pigs has just died. We'll have roast pork for dinner.'
I said,'Lovely:
One of the ducks died the next day. He said, 'We'll have roast duck for dinner.'
I said, 'Lovely.'
Then the next day he came down all dressed in black.
He said, 'Your auntie's just died.'
I said, 'Don't worry. I'm not stopping for dinner.'

The Joke of the day for Wednesday, May 1st, 2019

Did you hear about the prisoner who talked very slowly?
He took twentyfive years to finish a sentence.

The Joke of the day for Tuesday, April 30th, 2019

What do you get if you cross a ghost with a packet of potato chips?
Snacks that go crunch in the night.

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