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The Joke of the Day Archive - Page 7

This is page 7 of our 'The Joke of the Day' archive and it covers from Sunday, July 7th, 2019 to Saturday, July 13th, 2019.

The Joke of the day for Saturday, July 13th, 2019

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Toby who?
Toby continued.

The Joke of the day for Friday, July 12th, 2019

Two idiots are going down the street, one digs a hole the second fills it in. They carry on down the street and again one digs a hole and the second fills it in.
A passer by is bemused by this and goes over to the idiots and asks them "What on earth is going on?"
One of the idiots replies saying, "Our mate who plants the trees is off ill today."

The Joke of the day for Thursday, July 11th, 2019

Did you hear what happened to the guy who couldn't keep up payments to his exorcist?
No, what?
He was repossessed.

The Joke of the day for Wednesday, July 10th, 2019

The Abbot of the Monastery was very strict in his routine. Each morning, he'd come out of his cell, go into the main room where all the monks were sitting, and chant "Good Morning." They would chant back "Good Morning." At the evening meal, he'd enter the room and sing "Good Evening," and they would reply in kind. One morning, though, in response to his greeting, he distinctly heard one monk sing "Good Evening." Wondering if his ears were going, he sang "Good Morning," only to hear the anomalous greeting again. Looking about the room, he sang "Someone Chanted 'Evening.'"

The Joke of the day for Tuesday, July 9th, 2019

How many PESSIMISTS does it take to change a light-bulb?
"What's the point? It'll only blow again."

The Joke of the day for Monday, July 8th, 2019

There was this car that was driving very slowly down the highway. A State Trooper pulls it over. "What have I done wrong, officer?" the driver asks.
"You are going 26mph on a major highway. There is a law against that," the officer says to the driver. "You must go at least 50mph."
"But when I turned on the highway, the sign said 26!" the driver replies.
"HA HA HA!" The officer laughs out loud. "That is because this is Interstate 26! The 26 isn't the speed limit!"
The driver leans back in her car seat and the cop sees another woman sitting beside her. She looked as pale as a ghost.
"What happened to her?" the officer asks.
"I don't know, but she has been that way ever since we got off of interstate 160."

The Joke of the day for Sunday, July 7th, 2019

A couple of hikers were tramping through the countryside and had lost their way, so by the time they arrived at the "George and Dragon", the village pub where they'd arranged to stay the night, the doors were locked and the owners had gone to bed. They knocked timidly on the front door.
A head appeared at an upstairs window and shouted, 'Go away. Don't you know what time it is? We're closed,' and the the window slammed shut.
Undeterred, the hikers knocked again. 'What is it now?' demanded the head.
'Could we speak to George this time please?' asked on the the hikers.

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