The Joke of the Day Archive - Page 8

The Joke of the day for Monday, December 9th, 2019

A plumber was called to fix a blocked pipe. He arrived, banged on the pipes for 15 minutes, and said to the homeowner, well that'll be $35.
The homeowner said "thirty five dollars!!!!- why thats $140 per hour!! I'm a lawyer and I only make $100 an hour!!"
The plumber replies, "yeah, thats what I got when I was a lawyer."

The Joke of the day for Sunday, December 8th, 2019

A car was involved in an accident in a street. As expected a large crowd gathered. A lawyer, anxious to make money from the accident could not get near the car. Being such a smart guy, he started shouting loudly, "Let me through! Let me through! I'm the son of the victim." The crowd made way for him.
Lying in front of the car was a donkey.

The Joke of the day for Saturday, December 7th, 2019

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ferdie.
Ferdie who?
Ferdie last time, open the door.

The Joke of the day for Friday, December 6th, 2019

A convict escaped from prison by digging a tunnel. It came up outside the prison in a school playground. The convict was so happy when he emerged from the tunnel he exclaimed, "I'm free, I'm free!"
"So what," said a little girl. "I'm four."

The Joke of the day for Thursday, December 5th, 2019

Two policemen are called to the scene of a crime in a convenience store. One asks the manager what happened.
He replies "There's a man over there covered in Corn Flakes and he's dead."
"That's odd," said the first policeman, "didn't we have one covered in Bran Flakes yesterday? And another covered in Wheata Flakes last week?"
"Your right" said the second policeman. "This must be the work of a cereal killer."

The Joke of the day for Wednesday, December 4th, 2019

Last night there was a big argument in a Glasgow cinema. Two men were trying to get in using one ticket - they said they half-brothers.

The Joke of the day for Tuesday, December 3rd, 2019

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a snail.
Don't worry, we'll soon have you out of your shell.