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The Joke of the Day Archive - Page 9

This is page 9 of our 'The Joke of the Day' archive and it covers from Friday, December 21st, 2018 to Thursday, December 27th, 2018.

The Joke of the day for Thursday, December 27th, 2018

How many waiters does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Not even a burned-out bulb can catch a waiter's attention.

The Joke of the day for Wednesday, December 26th, 2018

A husband went out for a few drinks with his friends one Friday evening but ended up getting so drunk at their flat that by the time he came round, it was Sunday lunchtime. Realising that his wife would never forgive give him for the missing day and a half, he knew he had to come up with a plausible explanation. He was really struggling to think of a good excuse until he had a sudden brainwave. Calling home, he yelled down the phone: ''Don't pay the ransom, darling! I've managed to escape!''

The Joke of the day for Tuesday, December 25th, 2018

Just before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and Santa Claus were all riding in the elevator of a very posh hotel. Just before the doors opened they all noticed a $100 bill lying on the floor. Which one picked it up?
Santa of course, because the other two don't exist!

The Joke of the day for Monday, December 24th, 2018

He is so stupid he thinks that Christmas Eve is a tug of war contest.

The Joke of the day for Sunday, December 23rd, 2018

What Christmas carol do monsters sing each Christmas?
Deck the halls with poison ivy...

The Joke of the day for Saturday, December 22nd, 2018

What is the most popular wine at Christmas?
Do I have to eat the Brussels sprouts?

The Joke of the day for Friday, December 21st, 2018

Why is it always so cold at Christmas?
Because it's in Decembrrrrr.

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