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The Joke of the Day

On this page you will find todays 'Joke of the Day' plus the listings for the last seven days. There is a different joke every day of the year.

You will also be able to view the archive from past weeks.

The Joke of the day for Saturday, January 18th, 2020

A man and his wife were watching golf on tv and the sound on the commentary was rather low. The woman went to turn it up. 'Ssh,' said the husband, 'ssh. Not while he's putting.'

The Joke of the Day Archive

This is our archive where you can view previous 'Joke of the Day' listings.

Here is page 1 of our archive and it currently covers from Saturday, January 11th, 2020 to Friday, January 17th, 2020.

There are 12 pages in this archive and each page covers seven days.

The Joke of the day for Friday, January 17th, 2020

Waiter, waiter, do they ever change the tablecloths in thls restaurant?
I don't know, sir. I've only been here a year.

The Joke of the day for Thursday, January 16th, 2020

What is green, has four legs and two trunks?
Two seasick tourists.

The Joke of the day for Wednesday, January 15th, 2020

When I proposed to my girlfriend she said: I love the simple things in life, but I don't want one of them for my husband.

The Joke of the day for Tuesday, January 14th, 2020

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed him to hear perfectly.
He went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing’s perfect. Your family must be pleased you can hear again."
To which he said, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've already changed my will 3 times!"

The Joke of the day for Monday, January 13th, 2020

Did you hear about the cannibal that arrived late for a dinner party? He said, 'Am I late?'
They said, 'Yes, everybody's eaten.'

The Joke of the day for Sunday, January 12th, 2020

A youngster was looking at the family photo album and asked his mother, ''Who's the slim young man on the beach with you with lots of muscles and curly hair?''
''That's your father.''
''Then who's the old bald-headed fat man that lives with us now?

The Joke of the day for Saturday, January 11th, 2020

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Colin.
Colin who?
Colin me names is going to get you into real trouble.

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