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The Joke of the Day

On this page you will find todays 'Joke of the Day' plus the listings for the last seven days. There is a different joke every day of the year.

You will also be able to view the archive from past weeks.

The Joke of the day for Monday, December 17th, 2018

A man was staggering home drunk in the early hours of the morning when he was stopped by a police officer. 'What are you doing out at this time of night?' asked the officer.
'I'm going to a lecture,' slurred the drunk. 'And who's going to give a lecture at this hour?'
'My wife.'

The Joke of the Day Archive

This is our archive where you can view previous 'Joke of the Day' listings.

Here is page 1 of our archive and it currently covers from Monday, December 10th, 2018 to Sunday, December 16th, 2018.

There are 12 pages in this archive and each page covers seven days.

The Joke of the day for Sunday, December 16th, 2018

A guy was lost on the Mall by the Washington Monument. He stopped a policeman and asked, "What side is the State Department on?"
The cop answered: "Ours, I hope."

The Joke of the day for Saturday, December 15th, 2018

Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a telephone.
Well, take these pills and if you don't get any better give me a ring.

The Joke of the day for Friday, December 14th, 2018

Patient: Doctor, doctor, I keep seeing frogs in front of my eyes.
Doctor: Don't worry, it's only a hoptical illusion.

The Joke of the day for Thursday, December 13th, 2018

Why is an astronaut like an American footballer?
They both like to make safe touch-downs.

The Joke of the day for Wednesday, December 12th, 2018

After suffering through years of his wife's awful coffee, the man spat it out and took the coffee maker to his lawyer.
Dropping it on the attorney's desk, the man growled, "Here they are!"
"Here are what?" the startled lawyer asked.
"Grounds for Divorce."

The Joke of the day for Tuesday, December 11th, 2018

"And what will you do when you grow up to be as big as me?" asked the father of his little son.
"Diet."

The Joke of the day for Monday, December 10th, 2018

How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?
One third less than for a regular bulb.

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